Emma J Photo

as i’m rumaging through this session (i dont know if going out of town for 4 days on spring break to spend time with some of your favorite people and taking some pictures is actually considered a session) and I decided to give another sneak peak at this one. It was too perfect in my mind. because it is them.. as is.

as i mentioned, I was gone this weekend. And this little trip to Austin didn’t break this fever I have.. but instead it fueled it.

first, let me explain my fever: I am having the hardest time being here… in nowhere, west Texas, while everyone else thats doing what I do is off traveling and taking pictures of it. SO my fever is this desire I have to leave. To leave and take pictures of what I see on my journey to the destination I choose.

I. Want. Out. And being a fifteen year old who doesnt even have her permit yet really puts a holt on that pipe dream.

you see a lot of Midland is just a shelter. And, as I read in Baron Batch’s blog this week “every fortress is a prison.” I feel like that speaks to a wide range of situations but I felt it speaking to me in this way: I feel like i’m in prison. Not just Midland, but feeling like I don’t belong where I am altogether.

And this weekend, while great, only put more ragey green fire in me.  It was like a teaser… like spring break before summer… or like the chips and salsa before a meal. It just leaves you wanting more.

I have been reading a lot of Wrecklessgirl’s interviews on the Vagabond blog. And as you can imagine the green fire comes rolling back in. I began to read. And dream. And then realize: while these photographers are off making art, I’m here sitting in front of my computer screen in Midland, texas WANTING to be them. Or wanting to join them in their adventures. Or, even better, wanting to be on my own adventures.

I want to be interviewed and share what I have found to be beautiful. I want to be part of that.

It’s part of this weird thing I got going in my head to  be united. I think it is so beautiful to see peoples expressions as part of a story… and I think while appreciating being inspired by there story we take part in an overall unity. But I feel like i’m all talk no walk. I don’t feel like I’m capable to inspire. I will try to the death but I don’t feel much feedback, and the little that I do I thank God for because I love knowing that I’m expressing some sort of glory and unity by inspiring.

And while reading one of these interviews with Sarah Rhoads, she asked:

“Define: away

‘un-plugging. turning off the things that don’t matter and re-connecting with those things that do.’“

I want to “re-connect”. But I guess for now I can just dream about it and attempt to do it here for the next 3 years.  I only get little glimpses of that on yearly family trips. Which I take much advantage of. But It still leaves me wanting more.

and p.s. thank you Vagabound and everyone else who lets me see what there is to see. It’s secretly my dream to make the “11 explorers” be 12.